Of all the posts I've seen so far this morning on Facebook this is on the one that caught my attention the most. This is something I have said to my ex time and time again and since he's constantly "trying" to have this work (to this very day) it would be some kind of awesome if he understood or got this. Like, how much can he really hate who I am since he's still hanging around, still wanting me? So why can't he let who I am be and just enjoy that instead of trying to turn me into something or someone I'm not?

When he does this to me it just makes me feel so small, so inconsequential. As if I'm not a person but rather an object, one that he thinks he can program to be however he likes, sorta like picking options for your car or something like that. I feel so disrespected and like I don't matter at all. That the only happiness that matters is his. How fair or good or loving is that? How come he can't understand how much that hurts me? Why does he have to constantly point out his financial support and in such a way that it makes me feel bought and paid for, again, like an object not a person.

It's hard to be into appreciating and celebrating myself when he is around putting all these other ideas out there. But he doesn't know that when he does that I feel like I must fight for my very being. He doesn't understand this so he doesn't understand what is so wrong and why our relationship suffers so. 

I am always going to celebrate who I am. ALWAYS!